Debbie Nelson

Debbie Nelson
Born	Deborah Rae Nelson January 6, 1955 Kansas
Death	December 2, 2024 St. Joseph, Missouri

Deborah Rae Nelson (born January 6, 1955 – December 2, 2024), also known as Deborah Mathers-Briggs or Debbie Mathers, was the mother of Eminem and Nate Kane. In 2007, she published the memoir, My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem, which told her side of the story. She died from lung cancer at age 69.

Biography

Disclaimer: The following information is taken from her memoir, though it is unknown which parts are fact, fiction, and embellished.

1955-1970: Early childhood and first marriage

Nelson was born on January 6, 1955, on a military base in Kansas. Her parents were Betty and Bob Nelson, who respectively worked as a bartender and in the Air Force. Betty was only fourteen when marrying to escape her family, and fifteen when giving birth to Debbie. The eldest of five children, Debbie was largely responsible for taking care of her siblings since her parents frequently argued. By the age of fourteen, Debbie cleaned the house, cooked, and cared for her two brothers Steve and Todd. Despite growing up in a dysfunctional family, she attributed her paternal grandmother, Bessie "Nan" Whitaker, to be the closest to showing love to them as children. Eventually Debbie's mother began an affair with Ron Gilpin, who would later become her stepfather. Meanwhile, her father found a girlfriend named Geri and left them for good, starting a new family.

At the age of 12, Debbie ran away from home after her stepfather assaulted her. Although the police were involved, Betty refused to believe her and Gilpin spent one night in jail before returning home. Debbie would live at her friends' houses for sanctuary, though returned home because of her brothers.

At the age of fourteen, she fell in love with Marshall Mathers Jr., who was four years her senior and thought he was out of her league. He was a drummer and had aspirations to start a band. He also helped protect her from her abusive and alcoholic stepfather. She wrote in her memoir, "All I ever wanted was a husband who loved me, a nice home, and a big brood of children. Bruce felt the same." Debbie obtained parental permission to marry at age fifteen in Missouri; Bruce proposed to her when she discussed of wanting to run away again. Their wedding was held on September 20, 1970, at the Assembly of God Church, with their family and close friends in attendance. Unbeknownst to her, the ceremony was illegal, as her mother hadn't signed the consent form (being her Aunt Martha who forged the signature).

1971-1980: Pregnancy and raising Eminem

Debbie ended up dropping out of school. Her husband worked at the Missouri Valley Veneer wood company and allegedly sold drugs on the side. Her mom divorced Gilpin and married Ronald Polkingharn. In January 1972, Debbie became pregnant with Eminem, and on October 13, her water broke. She was rushed to the Saint Joseph's Sisters' Hospital by Bruce's Aunt Edna, enduring seventy-two hours in labor. It turned out she had toxemia, which is toxins in the blood due to bacterial infection. After conceiving Eminem, she blacked out. Once she came to it, the nurse informed her that the baby was named Marshall Mathers III, where Bruce named him after they were unsure she was going to make it.

When Eminem was two months old, Bruce suggested they moved to his hometown of Williston, North Dakota. Bruce took over his father's job as assistant manager at the Plainsman Hotel, where his mother was the bookkeeper. They lived with Bruce's parents before finding their own apartment. Debbie worked as a cashier at the Red Owl grocery store. Her husband started drinking, cheating, and physically abusing her. The manager at the grocery store, John, didn't buy her excuses of being clumsy and urged her to leave him. She was afraid to involve the police due to the Matherses having a reputation in Williston. One summer day, she spoke with her father-in-law, who was ashamed of his son beating women and asked her to leave Bruce and escape with the baby.

After Marshall Mathers Sr.'s death, Bruce's abuse worsened. In January 1974, coinciding with her 19th birthday, Bruce gave their friend Kenny twenty dollars to take Debbie out for a meal. The next day, he accused her of having an affair and beat her until she was unconscious. He apologized afterward, and she told him she hated him and was leaving. Debbie decided to head to Saint Joseph to live with her mother, but this didn't last long. She quickly moving in with Nan, who was living in the same area. Bruce pleaded to talk to Debbie, and once on the phone, told Debbie to come back. Although Debbie wanted Em to have a father because she herself never had that, she believed Bruce didn't care to know Eminem. The phone calls ceased after a few weeks and she was determined to raise Eminem on her own. She also filed for a divorce and Bruce was ordered to pay sixty dollars a month for child support, though this ended as he left for California.

Debbie moved into an apartment and worked at a restaurant while Bruce's Aunt Edna helped take care of Marshall. Debbie stated that she never said "no" to Marshall or used physical discipline. She worked various jobs from waitressing to driving an ice-cream truck, often taking him to work.

Debbie continued looking for a romantic partner and someone who was good to her son. Her first serious boyfriend after Bruce was Charlie; however, they both had trust issues and ended their relationship. The next was Don the taxi driver when they moved to Michigan. They lasted a year but Don had a temper and was incredibly jealous. Weeks after that, she met Curt Werner who was three years younger. They dated for less than three months but got married. The next day, they had an argument: Debbie didn't want alcohol anywhere near her baby but Curt ignored her wishes and continued drinking. Two weeks after their wedding, Curt drove away and never returned.

She described Eminem as causing trouble, including accidentally killing a guinea pig in the microwave, dropping a book into an aquarium, and knocking down a display shelf before throwing a tantrum. Surprisingly, he was shy around strangers. He also detested school, where he was bullied on a regular basis. Following him getting beat up by DeAngelo Bailey, where the doctor stated he was suffering from slight cerebral hemorrhage, Debbie attempted to sue Dort Elementary. This failed, as the judge stated Michigan schools were immune from lawsuits. To counter this, Debbie organized a petition, and education authorities soon offered insurance should an accident occur on school property.

By 1979, Debbie decided to have a fresh start and moved to where Nan was living in Warren, Michigan, to help take care. At the time, Debbie worked as a certified nurse's assistant at a Methodist hospital before quitting. Debbie and Em moved around a lot, where she claimed that the landlords admired her handiwork on redecorating houses that they'd sell it. She added that they always "lived in nice neighborhoods" and gave Eminem everything he wanted.

Believing Eminem would benefit by having siblings to overcome his shyness, she went to a social worker who introduced them to the three sisters Barbara, Wendy, and Tammy. There wasn't much income, mostly relying on food stamps and free medical care for the foster children. She shopped at Samra's Meat Market which was owned by Mr. Samra. He had a son named Fred Jr., who was recently divorced. They got along, and he would ask to marry her repeatedly though she always refused.

One day, Debbie's house caught on fire. She rescued the children and tried to call 911. She ended up hospitalized due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Following the incident, the foster kids went back into the system, and few of Debbie's things were salvaged from the fire. Fred returned to his parents.

1981-1989: Second pregnancy and Kim Scott

Debbie and Fred ended up getting back together, where he agreed to attend Alcoholics Anonymous. They moved back to Missouri where Marshall spent time with his Uncle Ronnie.

In 1985, she found to her surprise she was pregnant again. When Debbie was two months pregnant, Fred's mother called to request help as she was having eye surgery. Fred packed for Michigan and promised Debbie he'd return. However, he never returned her calls despite their seven years together. In Debbie's seventh month of pregnancy, she was attacked by a man named Mike Harris, who held a knife to her stomach and threatened to cut out her baby. Her brother Todd ended up chasing Harris away. She spent time in the hospital for the remainder of her pregnancy, while a friend cared for Eminem. On February 3, 1986, Nathan Kane was born.

Fred called once to reconcile, though she refused. He also had to pay child support but declared bankruptcy to avoid paying her hospital bills; once he started paying in 1995, it was a measly thirty-five dollars every two weeks. Eventually Debbie moved her family back to Michigan, terrified that Harris would attack her again. She fell in love with landscape gardener B. J., who proposed to her after three months. After three months in their marriage, B. J.'s behavior became erratic, and ended up in a psychiatric hospital, apparently suffering a nervous breakdown. Debbie was terrified and ordered a restraining order, as well as started their divorce proceedings.

Debbie worked as a home healthcare assistant before pursuing a career as a limo driver. Her company, Classic Rides Ltd Transportation Service, took off. She saved money for a house at 19946 Dresden Street, where they stayed for five years.

One day, Marshall arrived from school with runaway Kim Scott, who needed a place to stay. Kim claimed she was sixteen, though the school called and informed her of truancy and how she just turned thirteen. Marshall was fifteen at the time, and Debbie said she was too young for him. When Eminem turned sixteen, he wanted to know his dad. Debbie decided to contact Bruce but was answered by his wife, Lesley. Weeks later, a letter arrived which offered Marshall to come visit in California, but Marshall wasn't impressed.

1990-1995: Car accident, brother's imprisonment, and Hailie's birth

In March 1990, Debbie was driving with Nathan and a friend named Gary through Kalamazoo, Michigan, when a drunk driver hit them. This affected Debbie's vocal chords, called dysphagia, and she took speech therapy to relearn basic things. She was also unhappy by her son dating Kim, believing the girl was a bad influence on Eminem. She saw that even when Kim treated him badly, the more Eminem adored her.

In 1991, her younger brother Todd was jailed after killing Mike Harris, who was stalking and harassing him. Debbie planned to help with his defense when her mother called, declaring Ronnie was dead. The police ruled it as suicide, and Debbie shared the news to Eminem. Em wondered who killed Ronnie, and she was also suspicious. She attended the funeral and tried to get answers. When she returned to the motel she was staying at, Eminem called to say her living-room set was taken back. Debbie suspected Kim called the store to take the furniture with the lie that they wouldn't be able to pay it off. Em cussed her out and Debbie, in the heat of the moment, said she was sick of him and wished it was him instead of Ronnie who died. She apologized many times afterward, though Eminem refused to hear it. She admitted that the words were "something I will regret to my dying day."

Eminem worked at the Gilbert's Lodge restaurant with friend Mike Ruby for low wages. In their free time, they created rap music. When Kim and Eminem broke up, a few weeks later he started dating Amy, who Debbie observed was nice and that she liked. However, this ended once Kim dropped the news that she was pregnant. On October 17, 1995, Em turned 23. Kim brought a box of newborn puppies and let them run around the house. Debbie collected them and told her to drop them off then come back. Stirring trouble, Kim called Em to say she was kicked out of a motel, and Eminem arrived two hours later, angry at Debbie. He began hitting her and mocked about calling the cops, actually dialing the number for a dispatcher before hanging up. The police traced the call and arrived, where Em spent the night in jail.

Kim ended up moving back with her family and Eminem told Debbie they were finished. However, Kim went into labor early; Hailie Jade was born on December 25, 1995, though Kim refused to put Em's name on the birth certificate. Eminem was upset and called the courthouse to intervene. Kim's twin sister, Dawn had two-year-old Alaina Marie, whom Eminem also cared for. Em was determined to be a great father and started picking up more hours at Gilbert's Lodge. Debbie found a home in Casco Township and allowed them all to live with her.

1996-2004: Custody of Nate, Eminem's wedding, and lawsuit

In February 1996, Nathan started at a new school though was taken by the state and sent to a youth home, where Debbie was charged with Munchausen syndrome by proxy, child abuse, and keeping Nathan away from school. It took awhile before she could finally see Nathan, having to be supervised, which would continue for the next four months. Debbie asked the social worker to allow Eminem to see Nathan instead of Nathan's dad. Debbie looked for a way around Nathan being in foster care, finding the Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978. With Nan's help, they traced back to their roots with the Echota Tribe of Alabama. They found they were eligible and she and Nathan were issued tribal cards.

On Christmas 1996, their luck hadn't improved. Nathan remained in foster care and Debbie couldn't visit Eminem because he could lose visitation rights to Nathan. Additionally, Eminem lost his job at Gilbert's Lodge and his album Infinite flopped. Still, Eminem persisted with his music and eventually flew out to the 1997 Rap Olympics that ended up with a call from Dr. Dre.

Years later, Debbie fell in love with John Briggs. She wanted to have a fresh start by moving to Saint Joseph, though Eminem was displeased by this, wanting them all to stay in Casco Township. In the end, they agreed he could keep the house. While Debbie and John seemed to have a good start, buying a house and marrying, he started drinking and held resentment that she was being paid more. When Debbie was in the hospital for surgery, Nate called to tell her John left. She and Nate ended up spending Christmas in Michigan with Marshall, Kim, and Hailie. Not too long after, John came knocking on their door to win her back. The two went back to Missouri, where he promised to give up drinking, though this failed and he permanently left in the beginning of February.

As Eminem's fame rocketed, articles were being published that made Debbie upset because she was depicted as a drug addict and horrible mother. Eminem told her he was doing a show in Lawrence, Kansas, and wanted her there. She and Nate attended backstage. Once she was discovered as Eminem's mom, fans asked her to sign autographs.

When Kim and Eminem were planning to get married, he wanted Debbie's blessing. Debbie was heartbroken about the whole ordeal but attended anyway, held on June 14, 1999. Upon finding out the Casco Township house wasn't paid for, having multiple eviction notices, Debbie hired lawyer Fred Gibson. She explained her situation and how she was being slandered. On September 17, 1999, Eminem called to say he was being sued for ten million dollars for defamation of character and emotional distress. Debbie explained she didn't mean to sue, but only wanted to stop from her home being repossessed. Her lawyer also suggested the media backlash would die down since Eminem would be faced with charges. It also helped sell Eminem records, though the rapper wanted the lawsuit dropped. Debbie was even approached to release a record; since she couldn't defend herself publicly, she could do it through music. She ended up creating the song "Dear Marshall" in response.

On January 22, 2004, she stopped at a gas station between 8 Mile and Coolidge Road. She ended up getting robbed by a teenager who police identified was James Knott, who pleaded guilty to carjacking and robbery. In May, she found a lump that was suspected to be cancerous. Eminem reached out, presumably catching wind of rumors she was dying. He offered to pay her health insurance but she said she didn't want his money. Her brother Todd was concerned, though his life tragically ended short. Police ruled it as suicide and swept it under the rug, though Debbie suspected it was murder. Debbie's health deteriorated, where she lost a lot of weight.

2005-2024: Health and death

Eminem regretted the song "Cleanin' Out My Closet," saying in the 2013 song "Headlights": "But I'm sorry, Mama, for "Cleanin' Out My Closet" / At the time I was angry, rightfully? Maybe so / Never meant that far to take it, though / 'Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not makin' jokes / That song I no longer play at shows / And I cringe every time it's on the radio".

Following Eminem being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Debbie congratulated him: "Marshall, I want to say, I could not let this day go by without congratulating you on your induction into the Hall of Fame. I love you very much. I knew you'd get there. It's been a long ride. I'm very, very proud of you."

Debbie died on December 2, 2024, from lung cancer.